Oulipost #14: Column Inches

Day 14 turned out to be a really fun poem to write. We had to base our poem off of a classified ad of some kind and replace all of the nouns with nouns found elsewhere in today’s paper. It was an exceptionally good day since there were some “colorful” nouns used in several articles today in the Toledo Blade. I actually based my poem off of an event that was listed in the section “What’s On,” about a “Food Technology” seminar (and it certainly didn’t turn out about food…well maybe one mention!). I was happy I could use the verbs and adjectives from the listing. Here is my poem of the day, the sources used, and the original Oulipost prompt:

Controlled Citizens

The Party Palace on Put-in-Bay

will host a gathering, Politics for

Performance Artists. 5 – 6:30 pm.

Maggie McCann, the Watering Hole

Co., will discuss the basic fun-

damentals of pork projects finance,

stalking metal studs, floor laying,

circus cynic’s competition,

fire-eating crisis intervention,

mini-ghost emotional support,

stalking dog unions. Learn how

to be a resident songwriter ghost

or blow corporation’s money. FREE

iPad for Bowling prize victims.

Cost: $250 per lobbyist or $200

per lobbyist for realist individuals.

(Snapshot or whiskey at the bucket,

payable to Destructive Government

Management) and includes haunted

investigators speech and ice cream.

Advanced cult following required:

419-XXX-XXXX. Room 69.



Blade Staff. “Arts Center fund-raiser set to boost awareness.” eBlade 14 Apr. 2014. B4. Web.

—. Editorial. “Charter Members.” eBlade 14 Apr. 2014. A6. Web.

—. “Open House for budding apprentices.” eBlade 14 Apr. 2014. B4. Web.

“Bowling Green Art Walk Call for Artists.” eBlade 14 Apr. 2014. B6. Web.

“Center of Innovative Food Technology.” eBlade 14 Apr. 2014. B6. Web.

McCray, Vanessa. “Party Palace on Put-in-Bay celebrates to greet season.” eBlade 14 Apr. 2014. A1. Web.

“SAAM 5K Run and Dog Walk.” eBlade 14 Apr. 2014. B6. Web.

Schlachter, Thomas. “Politics runs on big money.” eBlade 14 Apr. 2014. A6. Web.


Oulipost prompt:

Column Inches

Refer to the advertising section or the classifieds in your source newspaper. Create a poem by replacing all of the nouns in your chosen ad segment or classified listing with nouns from one article in the same newspaper. You may use multiple ads/classifieds, presented in the order of your choosing.

See you tomorrow!

8 thoughts on “Oulipost #14: Column Inches

    • Thank you, Beth. I had so much fun putting it together! I couldn’t believe my luck with some of the out of the ordinary nouns that were in the paper today…especially on a Monday! 🙂

    • I was on a roll there for a while with my list of possible “Seminar” topics, but I decided to stop before it was overkill! LOL! Thanks, Jody! I also hope you get your poem and all in your local paper. 🙂

  1. Pingback: Oulipost: The Exit Interview | Lylanne Musselman

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